Anxiety

So lately, I've been having these anxiety attacks. They may be coffee induced, but I am guessing they are from the stress I'm under at work. I'm constantly tired too which sucks...but back to anxiety. So here's the order:

1. I lay down to go to bed


2. I turn on the tv, Family Guy's on---when isn't it?


3. I turn over a few times


4. Move the blanket to cover me more a few times


5. Start to think, "what didn't I do?"


6. "I could have done more work on that project"


7. "I should have went to find those kids for their lesson"


8. "I wonder why Stephen doesn't think I'm certifiably nuts"


9. "I wonder if I'm doing anything good for myself"


10. "I need a new job"

And it goes on like this as my heart begins to race and my breathing gets shorter and shallower. I almost feel like I start drowning. After a fw minutes of going "calm down, everything is fine. he loves you, he's not leaving, you're doing your best" and a few more minutes of family guy I fall asleep. I'm sleeping through the night, but the second the alarm starts going off I hit snooze and lay back down. It starts again

1. I turn over a few times


2. I cover my body more with the blanket


3. the alarm goes off again and I hit snooze again


4. "should i get up?"


5. "no, i can sleep a little more"


6. "no, i should get up"


7. "i'm gonna feel tired all day if i don't lay here"


8. "oh crap, what time am i teaching tonight?"


9. "how mcuh more work do i have to do?"


10. "what lesson groups do i have today?"


11. "oh god, that one didn't practice, i'm sure"


12. "did i talk to stephen?"


13. "oh yea...every night, before bed. ugh"


14. alarm...snooze


15. "why am i back in bed?"


16. "get up get up get up get up...."


17. "nope. not up. ugh."


18. move the blanket for more cover.


19. shorter breaths


20. faster heart beat

And it goes like that. So now its almost 10...I dread going to lay down now. I already spoke to my honey, who as always said "i love you" at the end of our conversation, which is comforting more than anything other than him being here. When he stays over, I don't have these attacks, but I think that thsoe are what I get when I have too much to drink, I don't think its me being too emotional, I think its an anxiety attack.

If anyone knows a good therapist in Nassau County, let me know. I'll even travel to Suffolk once a week, or every other week-i could do it along with my lessons. thanks.