frustrated and overwhelmed

I know, I know, you're thinking what's new!? That seems like a daily occurance...here's the breakdown...

1. Final paper. its due tomorrow night at 11:59 PM, then I will be done with this class. Despite spending most of the weekend reading, I am only on page 4 of the paper and it is a 12 page minimum. As well, everything I wrote I feel like is complete and utter crap.

2. Jazz concert, next Friday night. Why do I do these thigns to myself!?! The kids don't practice, oh, and they're all supposed to be here now for rehearsal. problem is, here I am typing because NONE of the 24 kids showed up. ain't that just sweet.

3. Pledge drive starts tomorrow, flyers go out today. I have to go distribute them, made the copies. at least that's done.

4. Grades due tonight by 12. I have to put grades in.

5. NYSSMA is coming, and the kids aren't practicing and I feel like I'm failing them that they don't know what they're supposed to. I am bending over backwards for NOTHING!

6. One of our friends told me Saturday all about how her and her friend, who was Stephen's girlfriend at the time had done a striptease show for him and how much he loved it. And how I don't do stuff like that for him, and I really don't do enough to show him how I care. I can't tell him, but it hurts so much. Just thinking about the whole thing gets me really upset. I've been crying since yesterday, and as much as I tell myself "He's with me, and if he didn't want to be he wouldn't be" it doesn't help.

Trace had something up about mantras, and I'm trying to make that mine. As well, she had another post up about picking three words to describe your week: overwhlemingly upsetting & disappointing.

Off to distribute flyers.