a few things I hate at the moment

- I can't tell my boyfriend how I really feel in fear of him telling me I'm being silly
- That I can't get a hug from him for almost 2 weeks, and that's the only thing that would make my day better
- That I have to go to rehearsal tonight for a concert I don't even want to play in anymore
- The only way I feel like I can express myself is to strangers through the internet (though I love the fact that people read this now, though it's not supposed to be self satisfying)
- that I'm scared my boyfriend will hate the scrapbook I've made for him
- that I can't get 10 minutes of quiet in my office
- that I feel like I haven't slept in weeks
- that I only get 6 hours of sleep a night if I'm lucky
- that all I want to do is go home and cry right now
- that Stephen didn't give me an anniversary card and i hate feeling like crap about that after all the nice things he did for me.
- that I feel so unpretty/not sexy/unattractive all the damn time, no matter what
- that my eyes are filled with tears right now and I can smell my emotions because my nose is all stuffy
- I'm red in the face now
- all I have to eat is a handful of salad and I know I'm gonna be hungary all night like I was all day.
- that i have to diet because I let myself go because i got so comfortable in my relationship
- that i hate my job. yes. i hate that i hate my job.
- NYSSMA
- the fact that my boyfriend has all this pressure around him to get married or have a kid and neither of us are near ready, but I still give into that pressure.
- that the only kind of hot chocolate i have right now with me is the non-fat tastes like crap and has no marshmallow kind. UGH. BLECH.
- that I feel like everyday is a bigger and bigger waste of my time and energy.
- muscle fatique.
- my fear of not wanting to be a teacher or my sudden change of heart.
- philosophy.

I'm gonna go for a drive I think. Maybe I'll post when I go home tonight, or I may just go home and scrap.