Questionnaire

1. What, in your opinion is the most important division within the human race? (e.g. smokers/non-smokers, Conservative/Labour, desktop/laptop)
male/female

2. On which side of the answer to #1 do you fall? female

3. How long, on average, does it take you to get rid of someone trying to sell you something over the phone? approxiamately 20 seconds, unless I think to be a smartass

4. What is the most expensive object you have ever broken on purpose? ('when angry' counts as 'on purpose' even if you regretted it soon afterwards) my last cell phone. originally cost me about $100, ended up costing almost $200 to replace that day. ugh, that was annoying.

5. What is your preferred method of sharpening a knife? ummmmmm....the long circular sharpener thingy?

6. In your view, is it more important for the Americans to adopt a less confrontational foreign policy, or to learn how to pronounce the word "aluminium"?
less confrontational foreign policy

7. If you had the opportunity to become immortal, would you take it?
no. i think half immortality would be good, like half an infinity. think about that.

8. On balance, are you angry about the part of the monitor tube that is covered by the plastic housing, or pleased about the extra 24 bytes in a kilobyte? i have a monitor?

9. If you buy something for 99 cents with a dollar bill, do you really want the 1 cent back? yes. honestly, I do.

10. Do you trust that fancy new paint which goes on pink and dries white? yes, because I painted my classroom with something like that. though it looked kinda pink afterwards, but that was because of teh giant red walls.

11. Have you ever combined a Burger King burger with McDonalds fries in persuit of the ultimate fast food experience? no, but I have thought about the opposite. McDonalds burger, Burger King Fries.

12. Do you own a box of those little plastic rings for reinforcing punched holes? i used to.

13. If you could issue one decree as an absolute monarch, what would it be? "let them eat cake!" and everyone would get a free cake that day. the bakers of town would hate me.

14. If copies are free, do you check the settings first, or just press the button and see what happens? settings, i'm a teacher, do it right or pay the price. literally. well, they are free.

15. If you had to have one, and only one bumper sticker, what would it say? "fuck"

16. What objects would you be nervous if you didn't have a spare for? my eyes

17. If you bought a new BMW 520i, would you choose the "Delete badge" option? does it delete the girl scout badges i earned as a kid?

18. What was the last thing you shouted while alone in a car? ARGHGHGHGHG!!!!! I'M SICK OF IT!

19. What is your typical path through a supermarket? produce, drinks, cereals and snack bars, cookies, self loathing, dairy, back to produce, pasta

20. Do you lick the underside of the foil top when eating yogurt? depends on what kind it is, and how appatizing that foil is looking.

21. Do you abbreviate the words "you", "are", “to” and “for” in text messages? no. i hate that.

22. Have you ever tried to use an optical mouse on a mirror, just to see what happened? no, but now that you mention it, i'm gonna go home and try.

23. If you were alone at the time, what would be the least hygienic location from which you'd be prepared to retrieve and eat a potato chip you'd just dropped? my kitchen floor.

24. With reference to #23, where would overstep the mark? under the dishwahser

25. Have you ever read the documentation for your company pension scheme? not really, just signed it.

26. How many of the Asterix / Hitch-Hikers Guide To The Galaxy / Terry Pratchett / Harry Potter books have you read? zero. honest to god.

27. How many greetings cards have you sent in the last 12 months? given---at least 20. mailed---2. i miss real mail.

28. A criminal maniac invites you to "Pick a city for destruction, Mr. Bond." Which one do you choose? Austin, Texas. It just btohers me. never been there though.

29. Which font do you use most often? TNR

30. What happened the last time you applied excessive force to an inanimate object? I broke a baton, before that a door.

31. Can you tell whether a Union Jack is hung the right way up? clearly a british quetionnaire. and no.

32. If it was a matter of life or death, what is the earliest month for which you could produce your bank statement? June 2002

33. If you could choose any person living or dead, who would you most like to hit repeatedly in the face with a small wooden gavel? nice. John Paul Poster---my first boyfriend. led the way for all my fucked-up ness. way to go asshole.

34. If you had the choice between a petrol chainsaw or a bread knife, which would you use for felling a small tree with a 1" diameter trunk? a chainsaw. that would make me feel hawt!

35. If you could ban one figure of speech, one acronym and one word, what would they be? i'll get back to you.

36. If you ran over a teddy bear lying in the road, would you feel guilty? incredibly.

37. If your house was besieged, which consumable would you run out of last - assuming you didn't starve? duck sauce and taco bell sauces.

38. List radio stations in order of preference as driving companions. 92.3, 100.3, 104.3, 102.3, 95.5, and 90.7

39. When making a graph in MS Excel, do you place it on a separate sheet or on the sheet with the source data? i don't know how to do these things.

40. Which way up do you hold a map when travelling South? the direction I'm facing.

41. How would you answer a 5 year-old who asked you why the sky is blue? because it reflects the ocean.

42. When did you last use a highlighter pen? two days ago.

43. On a scale of 1 to 10, how confident are you that you know when to use a semicolon? 4.

44. What proportion of the CDs you own are in their original cases right now? 97%

45. What songs, television shows, books, paintings etc are you irrationally embarrassed to admit that you don’t like? not sure.

46. Based on sound rather than content, which person’s voice irritates you the most? Samaria's, Chris Ferrell's

47. How accurate is the time on your watch? don't wear a watch.

48. Have you ever written to, emailed or telephoned a newspaper, radio station, TV programme etc? If so, what did you say? no.

49. Do you, in the most fundamental depths of your soul, give a crap about the extinction of the Red Cockaded Woodpecker? IT'S EXTINCT?!

50. What is the cheapest thing you’ve bought with a debit or credit card in the past month?
a cup of coffee.